Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Happy Hangover
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all.
He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party, as bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table, and, next to them, a single red rose!Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed, he looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight, I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind.
You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,’Leave me alone, I’m married.
He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party, as bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table, and, next to them, a single red rose!Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed, he looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:
“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make your favorite dinner tonight, I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”
He stumbles into the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee, and the morning newspaper all waiting for him.
His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 in the morning, drunk and out of your mind.
You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,’Leave me alone, I’m married.
What is politics ?
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’ Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him .
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed .
The next morning, the little boy says to his father,
‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ‘
The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’
The little boy replies, ‘The President is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him .
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed .
The next morning, the little boy says to his father,
‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ‘
The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’
The little boy replies, ‘The President is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.
Mom is coming
Wife: She came just four months back only, right? Why she is coming now again??
Tomorrow is Sunday I thought of getting up late but your mom had to come on a Sunday itself and that too morning 4 O’clock.
Where will she get an auto at that time?
Husband: Not my mom, your mom is coming.
Wife: Wow Mom is coming, It’s been more than 2 months I have seen her.
Listen na, I have the number of the auto driver please call him and tell to come in time tomorrow morning.
It’s good tomorrow is sunday, even the kids will be at home as they don’t have school.
They can play with their grandmother.
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